gw n shera baru 'klop' lagi semenjak reunian kecil banget kemaren ama bryan.hmm..gw pikir bakalan canggung n aneh2gtu tp... masi asik walopun byk pages yg qt miss, tp it's never too late to catch up.h3 n dy baru baca blog gw (luckily masi dikit postinganny ga kaya blognya dy, so gw ga bacain smua dhe,pusink bro!!h3) n dy komen puanjaaaangggg bgt di entry itu.dy bilang si emang, dy komen panjang, tp.. hahahahha..gw ga nyangka yg dy blg panjang tyt emg panjang yag.h3..
hmm...dr baca komen2dy, gw jd mikir sedikit. to be honest, judulny kan "new life day1" so it means itu skitar tgl 13 ato 14 juli 08. hmm..skrg ud new life day..(wait,brapa ya??) eh month 1, day skian2deh.males liat tanggalan. n pada saat tu lah gw 'melepaskan' hidup gw yg lama. smua 'rasa' yg pnh ada, dendem,benci, sakit ati, dkk. bahkan rasa benci gw am diri gw ndiri.smua ud gw pendem waktu dicelepin ke air.haha (ngerti kan maksud gw?) walopun i pikir komenan ny cra ud agak 'basi' tp i bersyukur coz skrg ada masalah ni timbul nih.err bukan masalah si, tp mungkin pikiran.tp ga tlalu dipikirin juga si, soale byk kegiatan laen.h3.. intinya gitu deh...
yaa pokoke ngomongin soal cowo, u know, i'm suck in romance, i'm not good with boys. but who cares??!! now, i juz wanna be frenz wid anyone, no matter they like me or not, i just wanna be their frenz. but another 'event' just happened on saturday (30oct08). one of my high school boy
on 1 hand, i wanted to go (coz i didnt have any food left at home, either.h3) but on the other hand,i was so tired n at 2 i'll have MD practice @church. tight schedule.hyuhh.. moreover when i asked "sapa aja" he said "ga ad sapa2 tuh kyna" byuh.... in the end, i rejected it coz i was too tired.
well, seeing those comments on 'new life day1', it got me thinkin', "hmm.. i dun really care bout my romance life now. i'm happy just as who i am. but, i'm pretty old now. n one of my dreams is i wanna marry relatively young have wonderful family etc etc. so, someday, sooner or later, i still need to find someone who's also finding me (kekeke..). now i have this guy, whom i 'feel' (not think) is kinda ... u know... maybe approaching me (i dont mean to be overconfident but... that's just what i felt). previously, i promised God, i'll forgive everyone who has hurt me, including my frens, my enemies, my fam, n myself. n i also promised to open my heart to discover God's love, so... this time i wanna open my heart, love everyone i know, spread d love n joy.
actually, i just wanna be frens with him, not more (since i dun really know him either). but if i keep on being 'nice' in front of him, i'm afraid he'll really hv crush on me. n when he does while i dont, wew, that'll be another problem. coz i dun wanna hurt people's feelings like i often did in the past. i know how it feels to be hurt, so i'm tryin my best not to hurt anyone... anymore!!hehe..
hmm... i dun know how our story will continue. sometimes i think, okelah, just give him (and maybe myself) a chance, try to know him better. but, 1 major problem everytime i think bout that probability:
HE'S NOT CHRISTIAN. HE'S BUDDHIST
err ... if i make a dialog for a play, perhaps it'll be like this (the thoughts inside my mind n heart):
one part of my heart: "i've always prayed for God to give me someone with d same religion n blabalbalba... talking bout knowing if s/o is d ONE sent by God or not, now i'm confused. how can he be d one that God sent to me if he's not even a christian??
another part:'well, maybe it's God's plan to make u His minister, to serve Him, to bring ^life^ to Him'
that one part: yea i know, but... i don't really know, actually. so what should i do???
another part: just give him a shot
one part: but.. what if in the end he doesn't wanna be christian or we just dont fit in well. how then??i dun wanna hurt another feelings..
another part: ..or maybe u just dun wanna hurt ur feelings!
usually after such a long 'battle' in my heart, i just 'quit playing games with my heart' (ukh bsb's song. muach muach love u guys so much.hehe..). i just stopped before reaching final conclusion. so til now, i dun know. haha... hmm.. maybe d best way is just face it!! God, just --help me to figure out the difference between right or wrong weak or strong, day n night where i belong.... help me.. to make d right decisions, know which way to turn, lessons to learn....--- oops, keterusan deh, nyanyi laguny nick carter help me.haha...
oche lah, gajelas bgt ya i ini. masa tulis campur2gini sih. tp emg klo mo talk sentimentil kyny susah de pake indo.bis kata2indo tu dalem bangget.hahahahahahahHAH.. n i'm not really a sentimentil person tuh.h3
uda ah, ud bt mikirin gituan kelamaan. bs gila.huaakkkk.... just help me... nananananana... enak deh lagunya.haha..
.JPG)
Posts
4 comments:
hoi hoi li. iya gue ngerti kok itu postingan udah berrrrrbulan2. makanya uda rada ga match ngomongin nya. haaha. tapi gpp, paling nnga pelajaran idup di situ sifatnya long lasting. haha.
li. klo yg gue pelajarin sih, dari berrrrrbagai2 sumber. klo itu sih uda kliatan bener tu bu bukan dari GOd nya. ya, mungkin aja iya, tapi memang belum waktunya.
gini2. duh. jelasinnya bakal panjang dah nih. haha.
yg gue tau sih, GOd kasih kita pasangan yg -bukan hanya seagama- tapi juga seimbang, sepadan, etc, pernah denger kan. itu juga termasuk dalam segala hal la.ya yg rohani, maupun yg non rohani. bisa saling melengkapi,etc.
dalam hal yg rohani, GOd pasti kasih kita yg juga istilahnya rohaninya juga sepadan sama kita. bukan yg, satu baru bertobat, satu uda kenal GOd lamaa, yg istilahnya, rohaninya uda "mature", yaa emang sih kita gak bisa ngukur taraf mature rohaninya seseorang seberapa. tapi, ngerti gak masudnya, akan sangat berbeda kan, mereka2 yg baru kenal GOd, ngomongin ttg God, sama yg uda lamaaa, itu beda. apalagi, yg bertobat bukan dari hati, bukan dari the touch of GOd nya langsung, tapi dari CINTA. fiuh gak murni bgt tuh, hehe.
gimana ya jelasinnya jadi bingung.
yg jelas, di buku2 rohani dan majalah bahasnya akan seputar2 kayak gini, makanya gue bisa ngomong begini. hehe. tapi gue gak bisa rangkai kata yg enak buat dimengerti, hehe.
kalo yg gue bilang: mungkin aja jodoh, tapi belum waktunya itu. ya begini. bisa jadi dia jodoh u. tapi yg pasti bukan sekrang waktunya. kenapa gue bilang gini? pastinya gue bukan peramal donk. hhe. tapi, seinget gue, itu ga ada bgt tuh yg namanya: beda agama, ah gpp lah, kan tar nanti gue ajak dia ke agama gue.
wah itu uda ketauan deh kehendak dan kepengen2 nya manusia nya aja. karena, itu semacam apa ya, macem excuse nya kita utk mensahkan apa yg ditulis di bible: ttg terang gelap, pasangan seimbang, dst.
trus pertanyaannya: bearti yg beda agama uda pasti bukan jodoh kita donk?? jawabannya ya bukan pasti gitu.
bisa aja berjodoh. tapi yg pasti, klo yg dari God itu, pokonya pas uda WAKTUnya utk kita ketemu jodoh kita, itu uda seimbang aja (baca: uda seagama, dll).
jadi gausa kawatir sama soal seagama ato ngga. pastinya GOd kasih kita yg seagama, wong itu perintahNya kok. ya ga?
gue pun kadang berpikir: gokil di jaman yg kyk gini, masih ada apa ya , cowok seagama, yg BENER, bukan yg asal2an, dll. hari gini gitu lho. kyknya sekeliling gue aja, temen2 kampus, walopun byk yg seagama, tapi... ah pastinya ada tapinya deh seallu. rasanya kok stok cowo makin dikit ya yg bae2 n yg bener. ah tapi ya udahlah percaya n beserah aja. santai enjoy, tar juga klo diketemuin, serba enak deh hehe
gue demen bgt ama buku grace suryani, puzzle of jomblo life. dia ibaratin, kita dan pasangan itu kyk puzzle. cuma ada 1 yg pas ama puzzlenya. aduh bagus deh li.cepetan beli tu buku. ga mahal kok. bukunya tipis, cuma 15 ribu, tapi segala pertanyaan u yg gini2 bakal kebuka semua. buku lain sih banyak, dan isinya juga sama,tpai buku grace tuh lebih ngobrol bahasanya, jadi gak terlalu melayang2 gitu bahasanya. jadi gue ghampang ngerti. tar u bakal ngerti deh ama sejuta pertanyaan2u ini jg. hehe. sekian.
btw, siapa sih yg naksir loe, kok gue ga bisa nebak ya? si f bukan?
ahaha...btul bgt tu cer.stok cowo berkualitas smakin mnipis. ad yg jd gay lah jd bencong lah.huaha susah ya byuhhh..
hehe iya tuh si f. makany klo lg ada 'kejadian'2 ama dy, gw jd binun sndiri.bis kyny dy tuh obvious bgt, cer. kadang risih juga.haha. u ud baca kan entry gw yg "someone impressed me today" nah disitu kn gw blg ad yg bothered me juga. itu tuh si f itu lowh.tp gw tau si itu salah.gw ga blh gtu.toh dy 'nyebelin' gtu mgkn krn maksud dy 'baik'.haha... skrg si ud bodo deh, lagian sibuk kuliah, trus MD pula.hahahahahaha.... seneng bangget deh!!!!! tp my life could get better each n every day.haauahahahah.....
oche2 ntar gw cari deh bukuny. bis gw ga tau sih buku bagus.so tiap ke gramed cuman liatin komiiikk aja.n langgananny jg cuman conan.klo ga ad yg baru ya ga bli.gaenak jg ama abang2 n mba2 nya.hahaha..gw lagi nyari buku inggris ato mandarin ato jepang nih. pgn blajar lbih dalam.h3
aduuuhh, gw juga pengen married muda nih,, huahaa, tapi kyknya udah ga bakal terkabul deh, skarang aja uda umur 20lbh bbrapa bulan.. wuuhh T-T
wuiiiihhhh, comennya panjang amat.. hauahuaa, g kyk gw, speechless gtu klo hrs ksh opinion.. tpi klo ngomongin hal yg aneh2, malah ngomongnya ga bisa brenti.. sampe gangguin lu pas di kelas! hauahuaha.
hehehe, gw agree bgt sama opinionnya Shera.. klo udah jodoh ma, beda agama pun akhirnya bisa jadi se-agama. so, no need to be afraid la lii, why dun u give urself a chance...? it's ok,kok.
klo memang bener2 cocok, ya jlnkan aj(siapa tau itu kehendak TUHAN),, klo ga cocok kan bisa jadi teman.. =)
hahhaa, kyk gw li.. HE and I, bukan beda agama lagi, tapi beda nationality.. gmana tuh!!! gw juga pusing.. hahahaha.
n Bella, jg beda agamakan? tpi mereka bukan seneng2 aja.. =) haha, udah 2taonan lgi.
beda agama ga jd masalah kok, if he really loves u, he will do everything for U!! 真的！yg penting tu cowo bae, ga yg aneh2, n sayang sama lu liii.. hahahahhaa!!
just follow ur heart laarrr. XD
ahaaha dasar si keti. gajebo bgt sih!! u mah uda ada calon kali, tinggal tunggu undangan nih.huaha...
iyalah, gw si skrg bodo amat, nanti jg ada. makanya, jgn suru gw cari2 cowo deh...huh, mentang2ud punya cowo!! sombong!!! (hehe.jk) biarin aja smua berjalan sesuai waktunya.kekeke..
thx yah tmanz2 smuaaa...
duh blog spaces gw koq sepi yahHH?? kyny harus ganti konsep nih.huahaha..
Post a Comment